Seeks Boston-based partner in crime for general shenanigans, spontaneous adventure and bar hopping.

I've been in the States for going on four weeks and I haven't written anything more than my signature on a small army of credit card receipts. And in the absence of this in-store shopping, I've made an even bigger online purchase with a digital SLR camera, and I like to think I've been taking pictures in lieu of getting all Carrie Bradshaw narrative on my laptop.

Truth is, there hasn't been a lot to say. I've spent as much time in airports and on (mostly) uncomfortable futons that I've actually mastered a semi-comfortable sleeping position on planes so long as I have a window seat, a coat for arm rest/pillow support and my favorite clothing item I affectionately call "my cape." This not only keeps me warm but has a fuck-off hood to completely cover my face - turns out: very important on flights. This thing could either land a supermodel onto the pages of Elle for an inspired new kitchsy design or get some hearty midwest girl elected to "What Not To Wear" by her "friends" and "family." I choose to wear it with an appropriate dosage of drama and I like it.

Anyway. What have I been doing? Killing time, mostly. In three weeks, this has been my route: Boston, Minneapolis, Appleton, Chicago, Austin, Boston, Chicago, Austin, and on Friday I fly back to Boston. (These are only the cities I've visited, not the connecting flights in between all but two of these.) To be honest, I'm bored. I don't have a job here, and I'm not in classes. It's not like Christmas break, when everyone is off work and the only stress is over the preparation for family dinner. Everyone else has shit to do - dentist appointments, classes, papers, rehearsal, work... My biggest job is to figure out how I can occupy my time in-between and around everyone's schedules. What I really need is a partner in crime.

Partner in crime. This phrase sprung into my head on one of these recent flights (Philadelphia to Chicago, I think), which, given the level of sleep-exhaustion and airport-aggrivation, is probably a bit haywire. Anyway, the lyric was in this jazzy little song by SIA called "Playground." The lyrics, admittedly stupid in print and amazing in her tune, go: "I don't wanna grow old / Bring me all the toys you can find / You don't wanna grow up / You can be my partner in crime." Somehow in one groggy train of thought, I realized I needed to find a partner in crime who didn't have all these commitments everyone else had - or, at the very least, was willing to blow a fair portion of them off. You would think that with most of my remaining Boston friends in their last semester of their senior year this wouldn't be a problem, but that's not my call to make.

I read part of Augusten Burrows' Possible Side Effects at Christmas, and in it a friend of his writes a personal ad for dating. She doesn't stop at the SWF-type abbreviations, though: she takes out almost a full page of the paper in her description which rambles into minute details and demands particular qualities. The ad cost her something ridiculous. Well, with a lyric in one hand and the story in the other, I decided the blog needed a little spice. So here it is. Meant for fun, but please, by all means, feel free to answer. God knows it will give me something to do.

Foul-mouthed and couch-crashing young female/bum seeking Boston-based partner in crime for general shenanigans, spontaneous adventure and bar hopping.

Must have nonchalant yet positive attitude, masterful conversation skills on a wealth of wide-ranging intellectual topics, an affinity for wild ideas and spontaneous decisions, and a sense of humor and class. Sophistication encouraged. Must be able to laugh at own blunders and judge other critically for lack of common sense. An addiction to grande soy lattes and soul music a plus, and a willingness to split taxis advantageous. Devastatingly good looks will not go unnoticed. This position requires a B.S. degree in shenanigans and ballyhoo. Opportunity to travel.

To apply: Submit impressive list or collection of most recent inspiration and make funny joke. List top five shows/events/places you'd liketo see/attend in the immediate upcoming 14 days.

Note: Applicants that would creatre drama or slow-burning stress will not be considered.